When will all of this end?
I just want to disappear. To not exist anymore. No, I am not going to kill myself, the end will come eventually. Death is the only one that does not care who you are. Death does not care about social status, race, religion, age, sex, looks. She wants us all.
Why am I talking about death? It's a comforting thought. I'm tired of people judging me. They always have an idea about how I should live my life. I hate that. I just want to be left alone, not to be analyzed anymore.
They said I don't look good enough, that I should lose weight just because they are idiots and want the whole world to be walking stick figures. This is my size and shape. And really, I don't think I am overweight. I am just tall and I have broad shoulders and hips. Whatever...
They said I should dress differently. To buy expensive clothes. I am poor. I can't afford expensive clothes nor would I buy expensive clothes even if I had the money. I don't like to wear dresses or high heels. I am not a girly girl. I don't give a shit about long hours of talking about beauty products, bags or shoes. That's just me.
They said that I am stupid because I graduated college and I have a crappy job. Well, excuse me that I don't have a rich relative that hires me at their company and pays me for doing nothing. I work my butt off for minimum wage. Am I stupid? Maybe. Unlucky? Sure. Too scared of trying to fit in somewhere? Yes. I don't want to be in the middle of arrogant little fucks that think they are superior just because of their money.
I am in a war with the world and with myself because everything annoys me these days. It's all so fake.
I am an optimist still and I know that some day people will wake up and realize what really matters but I am starting to lose my patience. Of course...none of all this will matter when I'll die. I just want to die with a smile on my face knowing that I tried to change the world. I am convinced that my perception is good. I've learned that after countless life stories. :)
Well...have a great day.
(She wants us all.) I've had my suspicions but now you conformed it, death is a female :D
ReplyDeleteBack to the topic, after reading through let me judge you :), although, now I know how much you hate it, but you're a ........ hero.