Bleached! Ep. 3. Renji goes gift shopping ( the way to a girl's heart)

Spotted: Abarai Renji in the Mall at 10 A.M. in the morning on the 10^th of January, just a few days before Rukia’s birthday. He said he had a present for her in the bedroom but that didn’t make Rukia too happy. Why? Even if they started dating for a while she still wasn’t sure of her feelings for him. They were best friends and she didn’t want to ruin a perfect friendship. Renji argued that being in a relationship wouldn’t change anything. He said “Hey, Rukia, haven’t you seen the movie Friends with benefits?” and she responded to that with a good slap in the face.

So now Renji really needed to make an impression with the present.

Man, should I buy her a ring? Ask her to marry me? That would be awesome. But wait…I am not ready for commitment. I don’t even have my own place. Urahara would kill me. A stuffed animal would be nice…Rukia likes bunnies. But she’s not 5, she is a grown woman. Lingerie? She’ll say I’m a perv and slap me again in the face. Should I ask Byakuya for advice? He would definitely use his bankai on me. I’m no good at this. I should ask Yoruichi. She’s a woman. And she did enjoy the present I bought her and Urahara. I’ll just give her a call…

-Yo, Yoruichi. Are you busy?

- I was just in the middle of my Pilates session but I guess I can take a 5 minute break. What’s the matter?

- I need you to help me buy Rukia a present for her birthday.

- Hmmm…you came to the right person, Abarai. I happen to know what Rukia wants for her birthday. She wants a new mattress.

-Excuse me? A new…mattress? Are you kidding me, Yoruichi?

-Not at all, my dear Renji. Rukia said that after all that time spent sleeping in Ichigo’s closet she feels like an old lady, all her bones hurt and she would really want a good mattress to have a good night sleep at Orihime’s place where she is currently living as you well know.

- Well, thank you, Yoruichi. This comes to me as a shock, really. I never would have thought of that.

-Don’t mention it. I’m always happy to help out a friend. Even if that friend is a freeloader  who lives in my boyfriend’s house.

-You always have to remind me that…

-Of course, Renji. Grow up and get a job and your own place.

-But I have a job as vice-captain of squad 6. It pays well.

-In Soul Society, Renji. Here in the real world you need a job that pays real money.

-But I do my shopping in Soul Society mostly.

-Are you in Soul Society right now?

-Well…no. I am in the Mall.

-And is your money good there?

-No, I took a loan from Byakuya.

-And how do you plan to pay him back?

-Well…I’ll figure something out. I’ll give him my next Soul Society paycheck.

-Oh, really? No new expensive sunglasses, hair treatments and massages for you next month?

-Hmm…well…Byakuya has a lot of money. He won’t miss it.

-Renji, you are on thin ice. Maybe he will Senbonzakura you to death.

- I have no time to think about that. I’m going to find the perfect mattress. Maybe Rukia will want to test it together.

-Sure…Bye, Renji. You idiot.

Renji went ahead and bought Rukia a mattress. His plan was to wrap it in a beautiful bunny printed wrapper and have it delivered to Orihime’s house on the morning of Rukia’s birthday. After that he planned a romantic dinner and he was sure Rukia was going to invite him over to test the new mattress. Of course, Renji was dreaming. But who knows, maybe Rukia will fall for the trick. What girl can resist a good dinner and a good mattress?

We will see how it all works out for Renji in the next episode of Bleached! Stay tuned